Personality

Image by Giuseppe Bognanni; CC license Attribution

I have a super addictive personality. In my time I have been addicted to (yay lists! not complete):

• grilled cheese sandwiches
• cocaine
• methamphetamine
• cigarettes
• people (lovers, friends, celebrities)
• alcohol
• cacti (not ingesting, but learning everything I can about them)
• caffeine
• television shows (Buffy, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek)
• sleeping
• Linux
  

This list illustrates the different types of additions that one can have. Sure, there's booze and coke and meth and smokes which are the "traditional" substance-type addiction. Then there's behavioural addiction (similar to "soft" addiction, except it can really hurt you) where one has a compulsion to do an activity. And of course soft addiction - I can watch season two of BG over and over and over and damn does it ever annoy my roommates. But it doesn't really hurt me at all (except a tiny bit socially, but everyone has their quirks, right?) When I slept for almost two weeks straight, getting up only to pee and maybe drink some water - yea, there was something wrong there.

I guess it's the difference between interest and compulsion, preference and requirement, want and need. I think I've always had a hard time seperating the two into little boxes, instead it's like all the yarn in my knitting drawer. I need what I want right now. Add stubbornness (problem!)

In a round about way, I think it's a problem with self-satisfaction. I look to things to make me happy, because I can't make myself happy. Then once these external things start paying out the happiness, it's go time. Why can't I be happy with myself?

Why not?

" I am a valuable human being and love myself just the way that I am "

"I do not need anything or anyone else because I am wonderful the way I am "

" I love myself and the world; this draws love to me "

" I am interesting and interested in myself "

W.I.